Marriage in ancient Rome
Had my the precedents, starting with the as abduct, which may reflect the archaic custom of and his band of male immigrants were rejected conubium, the legal right to intermarriage, from the. According to and his men abducted the Sabine maidens, but promised them an honorable marriage, in which they would enjoy the benefits of property, citizenship, and children. These three benefits seem to define the purpose of marriage in ancient Rome.
The word matrimonium, the root for the English word defines the institution's main function. Involving the mater, it carries with it the implication of the man taking to woman in marriage to have children. It is the idea conventionally shared by Romans as to the purpose of marriage, which would be to produce citizens producing new citizens.
a word used for the sharing of property, usually used in a technical sense for the property held by heirs, but could also be used in the context of marriage. Such usage was commonly seen in writings. However, the sharing of water and fire (aquae et ignis communiciatio) was symbolically more important. It refers to the sharing of natural resources. Worldly possessions transferred automatically from the wife to the husband in archaic times, whereas the classical marriage kept the wife's property separate.
In order for the union of a man and woman to be legitimate, there needed to be consent legally and morally. Both parties had to be willing and intend to marry, and both needed their fathers' consent. If all other legal conditions were met, a marriage was made.
1. Introduction
A question we often receive is "What is marriage?" In order to define marriage, you need to look at not only the historical period, but also on the geographical location and the cultural traditions of the individuals involved in the marriage relationship.
2. Roman Marriage
By all accounts Roman marriages appeared mostly a rather cold affair. Love had nothing to do with it. Nor did fidelity in the modern sense of the word. Procreation was what counted. Meanwhile Roman men would go to all kind of lengths to prove that they weren't hen-pecked, while their wives hungered for the slightest bit of affection.Living together, prenuptial agreements, divorce, religious wedding ceremonies, and legal commitments all had a place in ancient Rome. Judith Evans-Grubbs says that the Romans were unlike other Mediterranean people in making marriage a union between social equals and not valuing submissiveness in the women.
3. True Meaning of Marriage
The true meaning of marriage is love. By love, I mean not just what we feel but what we do. Love just as a feeling is very flimsy, an up and down roller coaster. Love is an action! In order for it to become the ultimate force and for us to rediscover the true meaning of marriage, love has to be unconditional. You are not looking for acceptance or validation. You are giving of yourself to another not because of them, but because of your values. A death to ones self so that another may live and benefit from your sacrifice.
This is not an easy road to walk. But it is the most rewarding road however. An old Buddhist saying goes like this, 'I want peace.' If you take your ego (I) and your desires (want) out of the equation, i.e., the self, you will have only peace left. The true meaning of marriage is expressing love unconditionally to another. It is an unstoppable force that can endure anything. How do you find it? Within yourself. You have to draw strength from you. Neither seeking validation nor acceptance, just seeking the opportunity to show love.
4. History of marriage by culture
Although the institution of marriage pre-dates reliable many cultures have legends concerning the origins of marriage. The way in which a marriage is conducted and its rules and ramifications has changed over time, as has the institution itself, depending on the culture or demographic of the time. Various cultures have had their own theories on the origin of marriage. One example may lie in a man's need for assurance as to paternity of his children. He might therefore be willing to pay a bride price or provide for a woman in exchange for exclusive sexual access. is the consequence of this transaction rather than its motivation. In society, married women work harder, lose sexual freedom, and do not seem to obtain any benefit from marriage. But women are a source of jealousy and strife in the tribe, so they are given little choice other than to get married. "In almost all societies, access to women is institutionalized in some way so as to moderate the intensity of this competition Forms of which involve more than one member of each sex, and therefore are not either or have existed in history. However, these forms of marriage are extremely rare. Of the 250 societies reported by the American anthropologist George P. Murdock in 1949, only the of Brazil had any group marriages at all.
Various have existed throughout the world. In some societies an individual is limited to being in one such couple at a time, while other cultures allow a male to have more than one or, less commonly, a female to have more than one. Some societies also allow marriage between two males or two females. Societies frequently have other restrictions on marriage based on the ages of the participants, pre-existing kinship, and membership in religious or other social groups.
5. WOMEN AND MARRIAGE IN ANCIENT ROME
Roman weddings were the source for many of our own marriage traditions. A ring on the third finger of a girl's left hand symbolized engagement. At the wedding ceremony the bride was dressed in white, wore a veil and was accompanied by a bridesmaid.
A Roman girl was considered ready for marriage at the age of 14. Her father would choose a husband and conduct the required arrangements, including the size of the dowry, with the groom's family. Economic considerations and inter-family relations were far more important than love.
Care was taken in choosing a lucky day that would avoid any ill omens; June was an especially favored month. A ceremony involving religious elements and the signing of the marriage contract was followed by a feast for all of the friends, relatives and business associates of the two families.
Throughout most of the history of the Roman Republic marriage transferred a woman from the authority of her father to the authority of her husband or her husband's father or grandfather, if he were alive. The senior father was the pater familias who had total control over all members of his family. In theory that control extended even to life and death, but in reality it was limited to economic matters. The pater familias owned and controlled all of the family's wealth. Any money or property a woman possessed at the time of her marriage passed to the control of the pater familias of her new husband's family.
6. Roman society, Roman life:
In the beginning was the census.
Every five years, each male Roman citizen had to register in Rome for the census. In this he had to declare his family, wife, children, slaves and riches. Should he fail to do this, his possessions would be confiscated and he would be sold into slavery.
But registration meant freedom. A master wishing to free his slave needed only to enter him in the censor's list as a citizen (manumissio censu).
Throughout the entire republican era, registration in the census was the only way that a Roman could ensure that his identity and status as a citizen were recognized. Fathers registered their sons, employers their freedmen.
Primarily the census served to count the number of citizens and to assess the potential military strength and future tax revenue. Most important, the census transformed the city into a political and military community.
But the census performed a highly symbolical function. To the Romans the census made them more than a mere crowd, or barbarian rabble. It made them a populus, a people, capable of collective action.
7. Ancient Roman Family and Marriage
Early Years
600 BC to about 1 AD - Before the Imperial Age, in very earlyn Roman times, families were organized rather like mini Greek city-states. Everybody in one family lived in one home, including the great grandparents, grandparents, parents and children. The head of the family was the oldest male. That could be the father, the grandfather, or perhaps even an uncle.
Each family had slightly different customs and rules, because the head of the family had the power to decide what those rules were for his family. He owned the property, and had total authority, the power of life and death, over every member of his household. Even when his children became adults, he was still the boss.
But, he was also responsible for the actions of any member of his household. He could order a kid or a grown-up out of his house, but if they committed a crime, he might be punished for something his family did.
In poor families, the head of the house might decide to put a sick baby out to die or to sell grown-ups in his family into slavery, because there wasn't enough food to feed everyone.
A women had no authority. Her job was to take care of the house and to have children.
8. The Imperial Age: Late 1st century AD to about 500 AD
Things changed very rapidly towards the end of 1st century AD. Although families still lived in one home, during the Imperial Age, women could own land, run businesses, free slaves, make wills, be heirs themselves, and get a job in some professions.
The ancient Romans tried to help their family grow through marriage, divorce, adoption, and re-marriage.
After a divorce, ex-in-laws were still important, as were their children. Adopted children had the same rights as any of the other children, rights based on their sex and age. In addition to wives and children, wealthy ancient Roman homes supported slaves.
9. The Legal Status of Marriage
Marriage was not a state affair -- at least until Augustus made it his business. It was private, between husband and wife, their families, and between parents and their children. Nonetheless there were legal requirements. It wasn't automatic. People getting married had to have the right to marry, the connubial.
10. Dowry
One of the most important aspects of the practical and business-like arrangement of Roman marriage was the The dowry was a contribution made by the wife’s family to the husband to cover the expenses of the household. It was more customary than compulsory. Ancient texts show that dowries typically included land and slaves but could also include (used to make women more attractive, such as), and clothing. These items were connected with legacy and if the wife died early in the marriage, the dowry could be returned to her family and buried
with her to give a more elaborate burial than was typical for the time, however that was not always the case.
The dowry was also how Roman families maintained their social status relative to each other. It was important to ensure that upon the end of a marriage, the dowry was returned to either the wife or her family. This was done in order to improve her chances of remarriage as well as to maintain the family resources. In ancient Rome, the dowry became the husband’s full legal property. In actuality, however, the purpose of the dowry often affected the husband’s freedom to use the dowry. For example, if the dowry was given to help in the maintenance of the wife, or if a legal provision was made for the wife or her family to reclaim the dowry should the marriage dissolve, the husband was restricted as to how he could make use of the dowry.
The fate of the dowry at the end of a marriage depended on its original source. A dowry of dos recepticia was one in which agreements were made in advance about its disposal. The agreement made beforehand determined how this dowry would be recovered. One of dos profecticia was a dowry given by the father of the bride. This type of dowry could be recovered by the donor or by a divorced daughter if her died. A dowry of dos adventicia was given by the daughter herself, though it came from her pater. This dowry usually came in non-traditional forms, for example, in lieu of a debt settlement, instead of being given as a direct charge on the pater’s estate. The wife usually recovered this dowry. However, if she died, the husband retained this dowry.
11. Kinds of marriage with manus (how manus was created):
Manus was acquired in ancient law by one or other of the following modes of marriage recognized as justiae nuptiae :-
(1) Confarreatio:- It was a religious ceremony performed in the presence of the chief priests of the state religion and accompanied by usages which were of great antiquity. Originally only patricians could avail themselves of this form of marriage.
(2) Coempto:- It was the civil marriage. This form of marriage was meant for the plebeians and existing side with the confarreatio form of marriage.
(3) Usus:- The third form in which manus was created was usus, that is a sort of usucapio or prescription. Usus was the acquisition of a wife by possession and bore the same relation to coemptio as usucapio to a mancipatio.If she was delivered to the husband without proper forms, she did not fall under his manus until the usual period of usucapio or prescription had passed.
12. Marriage in ancient Rome
had starting with the which may reflect the archaic custom of and his band of male immigrants were rejected conubium, the legal right to intermarriage, from the According to, and his men abducted the Sabine maidens, but promised them an honorable marriage, in which they would enjoy the benefits of property, citizenship, and children. These three benefits seem to define the purpose of marriage in ancient Rome.
The word matrimonium, the root for the English word defines the institution's main function. Involving the mater , it carries with it the implication of the man taking to woman in marriage to have children. It is the idea conventionally shared by Romans as to the purpose of marriage, which would be to produce; citizens producing new citizens.
a word used for the sharing of property, usually used in a technical sense for the property held by heirs, but could also be used in the context of marriage. Such usage was commonly seen in writings. However, the sharing of water and fire (aquae et ignis communiciatio) was symbolically more important. It refers to the sharing of natural resources. Worldly possessions transferred automatically from the wife to the husband in archaic times, whereas the classical marriage kept the wife's property separate.
In order for the union of a man and woman to be legitimate, there needed to be consent legally and morally. Both parties had to be willing and intend to marry, and both needed their fathers' consent. If all other legal conditions were met, a marriage was made.
13. Conventions of Roman marriage
The lives of elite Roman women were essentially determined by their marriages. We are best informed about families with both wealth and political standing, whose largely inherited money would follow both their sons and their daughters. In the earliest periods of Roman history, meant that a married woman would be subjugated by her husband, but that custom had died out by the 1st century BCE, in favor of Free Marriage which did not grant a husband any rights over his wife or have any changing effect on a woman's status.
Elite young men would usually marry in their mid-twenties, after a year or more of service and some initial experience attending cases and even pleading in the criminal or civil courts. Their brides, however, would be markedly younger women, between fifteen and twenty years of age. This was in part because the family felt no need to retain the daughter at home in order to give her a full education, and partly from fear that once into the flush of adolescence the girl might throw away her virginity or lose the reputation for chastity, which was a prerequisite for marriage. The higher the social position of the girl, the sooner betrothal tended to follow puberty, since marriage were arranged for political reasons. The actual marriage, however, was usually postponed until she was physically mature enough to carry a healthy pregnancy or survive the high risks of childbirth. The young wife would learn some of the complexities of running a large household by observing her mother, and her training would be supplemented by the of her new household.
The more prominent her family, the less it was likely that the girl would have much choice in the age, appearance or character of her first husband. Through high status marriages (even imperial ones), women were able to gain associative power from their husbands' prominent positions in society. Women who gained power in this way could even then legitimize the power positions of their sons (such as with) and as their symbolic status influenced Roman society.
While upper class girls married very young, there is evidence that lower class women –, freedwomen etc. – often married in their late teens or early twenties. Women were not seen as likely to marry after thirty. Marriage for them was not about economic or political gain, so it was not as urgent.
In a sense, the lives of all women in were defined around their expectation and achievement of marriage: first as young girls, then as wives and, if all went well, as mothers. In their later years, it was statistically probable that they would survive their husbands and live as From day to day, on a larger scale, their obligations and opportunities depended on the man or men to whom they were married.
14. Patria Potestas
Fathers of legitimate children alone had over their children. Patria potestas was the lifelong subjugation of a child to his or her father's will and, to the horror of the Greeks and other outside observers of the time, applied to sons as much as daughters.
A man or woman whose legitimate father was still alive required his consent for marriage. No paternal consent was required for illegitimate children or those whose fathers had died. This gave the father of legitimate children a very substantial say in at least the first marriage of his children. He had no right to prevent a divorce by one of his children. Though a father could deny the right to marriage by refusing a prospective son- or daughter-in-law, he could not legally force his children into marriage.
15. Engagement and ceremony
The nuptiae was often begun with a celebration, combining legal, religious, and social features. It brings the two households together, new property is introduced, and there is the underlying promise of children. The wedding ceremony no doubt included various customs and religious rites, but it cannot be assumed such rituals were static or widespread throughout the centuries.
The typical upperclass wedding in the classical period tended to be a lavish affair. The expense of the wedding was normally the bride's family's responsibility. The day was carefully chosen, with all sorts of religious reasons as to why certain days should be avoided.During engagement ceremonies, which typically took place before the wedding ceremonies, the groom would often hand his future wife an iron ring. During wedding ceremonies the bride and groom often sacrificed an animal and asked the gods for a blessing. Gifts were given to family and friends, and sometimes the and exchanged presents of money before the wedding. On the wedding day, the bride went with a procession to her new home, while the bridegroom went ahead of the bride to receive her. With her, the bride brought a torch lit from her family's hearth, and was offered another torch and water, symbolizing the aquae et ignis communicatio. She was then carried over the threshold by her attendants, not her husband. The words "Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia" may have been exchanged at this point. The actual consummation of the marriage took place in the bedroom, supposedly in the dark. The day after the wedding, the groom would hold a dinner party at his house, and it was at this time that the bride made an offering to the gods of her new home. All of this was part of publicizing the marriage.
The verbal consent between the bride and groom fulfilled the legal expectations, the sharing of the water and fire and, perhaps, the clasping of their right hands (dextrarum iunctio), the religious, and the actual ceremony and celebration fulfilled the social.
conventions of Roman marriage
The lives of elite Roman women were essentially determined by their marriages. We are best informed about families with both wealth and political standing, whose largely inherited money would follow both their sons and their daughters. In the earliest periods of Roman history, meant that a married woman would be subjugated by her husband, but that custom had died out by the 1st century BCE, in favor of Free Marriage which did not grant a husband any rights over his wife or have any changing effect on a woman's status.
Elite young men would usually marry in their mid-twenties, after a year or more of service and some initial experience attending cases and even pleading in the criminal or civil courts. Their brides, however, would be markedly younger women, between fifteen and twenty years of age. This was in part because the family felt no need to retain the daughter at home in order to give her a full education, and partly from fear that once into the flush of adolescence the girl might throw away her virginity or lose the reputation for chastity, which was a prerequisite for marriage. The higher the social position of the girl, the sooner betrothal tended to follow puberty, since marriage were arranged for political reasons. The actual marriage, however, was usually postponed until she was physically mature enough to carry a healthy pregnancy or survive the high risks of childbirth. The young wife would learn some of the complexities of running a large household by observing her mother, and her training would be supplemented by the of her new household.
The more prominent her family, the less it was likely that the girl would have much choice in the age, appearance or character of her first husband Through high status marriages (even imperial ones), women were able to gain associative power from their husbands' prominent positions in society. Women who gained power in this way could even then legitimize the power positions of their sons (such as with and as their symbolic status influenced Roman society.
While upper class girls married very young, there is evidence that lower class women, freedwomen etc. – often married in their late teens or early twenties. Women were not seen as likely to marry after thirty. Marriage for them was not about economic or political gain, so it was not as urgent.
In a sense, the lives of all women in were defined around their expectation and achievement of marriage: first as young girls, then as wives and, if all went well, as mothers. In their later years, it was statistically probable that they would survive their husbands and live as. From day to day, on a larger scale, their obligations and opportunities depended on the man or men to whom they were married.
Patria Potestas
Fathers of legitimate children alone had over their children. Patria potestas was the lifelong subjugation of a child to his or her father's will and, to the horror of the Greeks and other outside observers of the time, applied to sons as much as daughters.
A man or woman whose legitimate father was still alive required his consent for marriage. No paternal consent was required for illegitimate children or those whose fathers had died. This gave the father of legitimate children a very substantial say in at least the first marriage of his children. He had no right to prevent a divorce by one of his children. Though a father could deny the right to marriage by refusing a prospective son- or daughter-in-law, he could not legally force his children into marriage.
Engagement and ceremony
The nuptiae was often begun with a celebration, combining legal, religious, and social features. It brings the two households together, new property is introduced, and there is the underlying promise of children. The wedding ceremony no doubt included various customs and religious rites, but it cannot be assumed such rituals were static or widespread throughout the centuries.
The typical upperclass wedding in the classical period tended to be a lavish affair. The expense of the wedding was normally the bride's family's responsibility. The day was carefully chosen, with all sorts of religious reasons as to why certain days should be avoided.During engagement ceremonies, which typically took place before the wedding ceremonies, the groom would often hand his future wife an iron ring. During wedding ceremonies the bride and groom often sacrificed an animal and asked the gods for a blessing Gifts were given to family and friends, and sometimes the and exchanged presents of money before the wedding. On the wedding day, the bride went with a procession to her new home, while the bridegroom went ahead of the bride to receive her. With her, the bride brought a torch lit from her family's hearth, and was offered another torch and water, symbolizing the aquae et ignis communicatio. She was then carried over the threshold by her attendants, not her husband. The words "Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia" may have been exchanged at this point. The actual consummation of the marriage took place in the bedroom, supposedly in the dark. The day after the wedding, the groom would hold a dinner party at his house, and it was at this time that the bride made an offering to the gods of her new home. All of this was part of publicizing the marriage.
The verbal consent between the bride and groom fulfilled the legal expectations, the sharing of the water and fire and, perhaps, the clasping of their right hands (dextrarum iunctio), the religious, and the actual ceremony and celebration fulfilled the social.
Dowry
One of the most important aspects of the practical and business-like arrangement of Roman marriage was the. The dowry was a contribution made by the wife’s family to the husband to cover the expenses of the household. It was more customary than compulsory. Ancient texts show that dowries typically included land and slaves but could also include (used to make women more attractive, such as, and clothing. These items were connected with legacy and if the wife died early in the marriage, the dowry could be returned to her family and buried with her to give a more elaborate burial than was typical for the time, however that was not always the case.
The dowry was also how Roman families maintained their social status relative to each other. It was important to ensure that upon the end of a marriage, the dowry was returned to either the wife or her family. This was done in order to improve her chances of remarriage as well as to maintain the family resources. In ancient Rome, the dowry became the husband’s full legal property. In actuality, however, the purpose of the dowry often affected the husband’s freedom to use the dowry. For example, if the dowry was given to help in the maintenance of the wife, or if a legal provision was made for the wife or her family to reclaim the dowry should the marriage dissolve, the husband was restricted as to how he could make use of the dowry.
The fate of the dowry at the end of a marriage depended on its original source. A dowry of dos recepticia was one in which agreements were made in advance about its disposal. The agreement made beforehand determined how this dowry would be recovered. One of dos profecticia was a dowry given by the father of the bride. This type of dowry could be recovered by the donor or by a divorced daughter if her died. A dowry of dos adventicia was given by the daughter herself, though it came from her pater. This dowry usually came in non-traditional forms, for example, in lieu of a debt settlement, instead of being given as a direct charge on the pater’s estate. The wife usually recovered this dowry. However, if she died, the husband retained this dowry.
Old age and marriage
The evidence for rules of age in Augustus’ marriage legislation will be applied to the information we have in regard to the age of in women in and similarly the age up to which males were considered capable of fathering children. Under the terms of the lex Iulia, unmarried persons, caelibes (unmarried as defined by laws), were incapable of taking either inheritances or legacies. Married persons who had no children, orbi, could take no more than one-half of either inheritances or legacies. Originally, this basic principle seems to have applied only to those of a certain age, namely to men between the ages of 25 and 59 years, and to women of 20 to 49 years of age. Apart from questions of age, others were also exempted from the limitations imposed on the capacity to inherit, namely relatives, cognati, to the sixth (and in certain cases to the seventh) degree, as well as those in the manus or of such relatives. Under the Augustan legislation a husband and wife could enjoy complete capacity to inherit if, apart from the rules of age, they were otherwise related to within the sixth degree, or the husband was absent for a certain period of time (a temporary privilege), or the couple had a living communis child or a certain number of children who had survived to certain ages, or they had otherwise been granted the ius liberorum. If the married couple could not claim under any of these conditions, then they were normally capable of taking only one-tenth of the estate of the other.
Ancient Roman Family and Marriage
Early Years
600 BC to about 1 AD - Before the Imperial Age, in very earlyn Roman times, families were organized rather like mini Greek city-states. Everybody in one family lived in one home, including the great grandparents, grandparents, parents and children. The head of the family was the oldest male. That could be the father, the grandfather, or perhaps even an uncle.
Each family had slightly different customs and rules, because the head of the family had the power to decide what those rules were for his family. He owned the property, and had total authority, the power of life and death, over every member of his household. Even when his children became adults, he was still the boss.
But, he was also responsible for the actions of any member of his household. He could order a kid or a grown-up out of his house, but if they committed a crime, he might be punished for something his family did.
In poor families, the head of the house might decide to put a sick baby out to die or to sell grown-ups in his family into slavery, because there wasn't enough food to feed everyone.
A women had no authority. Her job was to take care of the house and to have children.
The Imperial Age: Late 1st century AD to about 500 AD
Things changed very rapidly towards the end of 1st century AD. Although families still lived in one home, during the Imperial Age, women could own land, run businesses, free slaves, make wills, be heirs themselves, and get a job in some professions.
The ancient Romans tried to help their family grow through marriage, divorce, adoption, and re-marriage.
After a divorce, ex-in-laws were still important, as were their children. Adopted children had the same rights as any of the other children, rights based on their sex and age. In addition to wives and children, wealthy ancient Roman homes supported slaves.
Old Age
The ancient Romans greatly respected and cared for their elderly. When the older members of a family became too tired for other activities, they could always play with their grandchildren and great grandchildren, all of whom had all been born under their roof, and would one day be honoring them at the Parentalia, the festival of the dead.
The word matrimonium, the root for the English word defines the institution's main function. Involving the mater, it carries with it the implication of the man taking to woman in marriage to have children. It is the idea conventionally shared by Romans as to the purpose of marriage, which would be to produce citizens producing new citizens.
a word used for the sharing of property, usually used in a technical sense for the property held by heirs, but could also be used in the context of marriage. Such usage was commonly seen in writings. However, the sharing of water and fire (aquae et ignis communiciatio) was symbolically more important. It refers to the sharing of natural resources. Worldly possessions transferred automatically from the wife to the husband in archaic times, whereas the classical marriage kept the wife's property separate.
In order for the union of a man and woman to be legitimate, there needed to be consent legally and morally. Both parties had to be willing and intend to marry, and both needed their fathers' consent. If all other legal conditions were met, a marriage was made.
1. Introduction
A question we often receive is "What is marriage?" In order to define marriage, you need to look at not only the historical period, but also on the geographical location and the cultural traditions of the individuals involved in the marriage relationship.
2. Roman Marriage
By all accounts Roman marriages appeared mostly a rather cold affair. Love had nothing to do with it. Nor did fidelity in the modern sense of the word. Procreation was what counted. Meanwhile Roman men would go to all kind of lengths to prove that they weren't hen-pecked, while their wives hungered for the slightest bit of affection.Living together, prenuptial agreements, divorce, religious wedding ceremonies, and legal commitments all had a place in ancient Rome. Judith Evans-Grubbs says that the Romans were unlike other Mediterranean people in making marriage a union between social equals and not valuing submissiveness in the women.
3. True Meaning of Marriage
The true meaning of marriage is love. By love, I mean not just what we feel but what we do. Love just as a feeling is very flimsy, an up and down roller coaster. Love is an action! In order for it to become the ultimate force and for us to rediscover the true meaning of marriage, love has to be unconditional. You are not looking for acceptance or validation. You are giving of yourself to another not because of them, but because of your values. A death to ones self so that another may live and benefit from your sacrifice.
This is not an easy road to walk. But it is the most rewarding road however. An old Buddhist saying goes like this, 'I want peace.' If you take your ego (I) and your desires (want) out of the equation, i.e., the self, you will have only peace left. The true meaning of marriage is expressing love unconditionally to another. It is an unstoppable force that can endure anything. How do you find it? Within yourself. You have to draw strength from you. Neither seeking validation nor acceptance, just seeking the opportunity to show love.
4. History of marriage by culture
Although the institution of marriage pre-dates reliable many cultures have legends concerning the origins of marriage. The way in which a marriage is conducted and its rules and ramifications has changed over time, as has the institution itself, depending on the culture or demographic of the time. Various cultures have had their own theories on the origin of marriage. One example may lie in a man's need for assurance as to paternity of his children. He might therefore be willing to pay a bride price or provide for a woman in exchange for exclusive sexual access. is the consequence of this transaction rather than its motivation. In society, married women work harder, lose sexual freedom, and do not seem to obtain any benefit from marriage. But women are a source of jealousy and strife in the tribe, so they are given little choice other than to get married. "In almost all societies, access to women is institutionalized in some way so as to moderate the intensity of this competition Forms of which involve more than one member of each sex, and therefore are not either or have existed in history. However, these forms of marriage are extremely rare. Of the 250 societies reported by the American anthropologist George P. Murdock in 1949, only the of Brazil had any group marriages at all.
Various have existed throughout the world. In some societies an individual is limited to being in one such couple at a time, while other cultures allow a male to have more than one or, less commonly, a female to have more than one. Some societies also allow marriage between two males or two females. Societies frequently have other restrictions on marriage based on the ages of the participants, pre-existing kinship, and membership in religious or other social groups.
5. WOMEN AND MARRIAGE IN ANCIENT ROME
Roman weddings were the source for many of our own marriage traditions. A ring on the third finger of a girl's left hand symbolized engagement. At the wedding ceremony the bride was dressed in white, wore a veil and was accompanied by a bridesmaid.
A Roman girl was considered ready for marriage at the age of 14. Her father would choose a husband and conduct the required arrangements, including the size of the dowry, with the groom's family. Economic considerations and inter-family relations were far more important than love.
Care was taken in choosing a lucky day that would avoid any ill omens; June was an especially favored month. A ceremony involving religious elements and the signing of the marriage contract was followed by a feast for all of the friends, relatives and business associates of the two families.
Throughout most of the history of the Roman Republic marriage transferred a woman from the authority of her father to the authority of her husband or her husband's father or grandfather, if he were alive. The senior father was the pater familias who had total control over all members of his family. In theory that control extended even to life and death, but in reality it was limited to economic matters. The pater familias owned and controlled all of the family's wealth. Any money or property a woman possessed at the time of her marriage passed to the control of the pater familias of her new husband's family.
6. Roman society, Roman life:
In the beginning was the census.
Every five years, each male Roman citizen had to register in Rome for the census. In this he had to declare his family, wife, children, slaves and riches. Should he fail to do this, his possessions would be confiscated and he would be sold into slavery.
But registration meant freedom. A master wishing to free his slave needed only to enter him in the censor's list as a citizen (manumissio censu).
Throughout the entire republican era, registration in the census was the only way that a Roman could ensure that his identity and status as a citizen were recognized. Fathers registered their sons, employers their freedmen.
Primarily the census served to count the number of citizens and to assess the potential military strength and future tax revenue. Most important, the census transformed the city into a political and military community.
But the census performed a highly symbolical function. To the Romans the census made them more than a mere crowd, or barbarian rabble. It made them a populus, a people, capable of collective action.
7. Ancient Roman Family and Marriage
Early Years
600 BC to about 1 AD - Before the Imperial Age, in very earlyn Roman times, families were organized rather like mini Greek city-states. Everybody in one family lived in one home, including the great grandparents, grandparents, parents and children. The head of the family was the oldest male. That could be the father, the grandfather, or perhaps even an uncle.
Each family had slightly different customs and rules, because the head of the family had the power to decide what those rules were for his family. He owned the property, and had total authority, the power of life and death, over every member of his household. Even when his children became adults, he was still the boss.
But, he was also responsible for the actions of any member of his household. He could order a kid or a grown-up out of his house, but if they committed a crime, he might be punished for something his family did.
In poor families, the head of the house might decide to put a sick baby out to die or to sell grown-ups in his family into slavery, because there wasn't enough food to feed everyone.
A women had no authority. Her job was to take care of the house and to have children.
8. The Imperial Age: Late 1st century AD to about 500 AD
Things changed very rapidly towards the end of 1st century AD. Although families still lived in one home, during the Imperial Age, women could own land, run businesses, free slaves, make wills, be heirs themselves, and get a job in some professions.
The ancient Romans tried to help their family grow through marriage, divorce, adoption, and re-marriage.
After a divorce, ex-in-laws were still important, as were their children. Adopted children had the same rights as any of the other children, rights based on their sex and age. In addition to wives and children, wealthy ancient Roman homes supported slaves.
9. The Legal Status of Marriage
Marriage was not a state affair -- at least until Augustus made it his business. It was private, between husband and wife, their families, and between parents and their children. Nonetheless there were legal requirements. It wasn't automatic. People getting married had to have the right to marry, the connubial.
10. Dowry
One of the most important aspects of the practical and business-like arrangement of Roman marriage was the The dowry was a contribution made by the wife’s family to the husband to cover the expenses of the household. It was more customary than compulsory. Ancient texts show that dowries typically included land and slaves but could also include (used to make women more attractive, such as), and clothing. These items were connected with legacy and if the wife died early in the marriage, the dowry could be returned to her family and buried
with her to give a more elaborate burial than was typical for the time, however that was not always the case.
The dowry was also how Roman families maintained their social status relative to each other. It was important to ensure that upon the end of a marriage, the dowry was returned to either the wife or her family. This was done in order to improve her chances of remarriage as well as to maintain the family resources. In ancient Rome, the dowry became the husband’s full legal property. In actuality, however, the purpose of the dowry often affected the husband’s freedom to use the dowry. For example, if the dowry was given to help in the maintenance of the wife, or if a legal provision was made for the wife or her family to reclaim the dowry should the marriage dissolve, the husband was restricted as to how he could make use of the dowry.
The fate of the dowry at the end of a marriage depended on its original source. A dowry of dos recepticia was one in which agreements were made in advance about its disposal. The agreement made beforehand determined how this dowry would be recovered. One of dos profecticia was a dowry given by the father of the bride. This type of dowry could be recovered by the donor or by a divorced daughter if her died. A dowry of dos adventicia was given by the daughter herself, though it came from her pater. This dowry usually came in non-traditional forms, for example, in lieu of a debt settlement, instead of being given as a direct charge on the pater’s estate. The wife usually recovered this dowry. However, if she died, the husband retained this dowry.
11. Kinds of marriage with manus (how manus was created):
Manus was acquired in ancient law by one or other of the following modes of marriage recognized as justiae nuptiae :-
(1) Confarreatio:- It was a religious ceremony performed in the presence of the chief priests of the state religion and accompanied by usages which were of great antiquity. Originally only patricians could avail themselves of this form of marriage.
(2) Coempto:- It was the civil marriage. This form of marriage was meant for the plebeians and existing side with the confarreatio form of marriage.
(3) Usus:- The third form in which manus was created was usus, that is a sort of usucapio or prescription. Usus was the acquisition of a wife by possession and bore the same relation to coemptio as usucapio to a mancipatio.If she was delivered to the husband without proper forms, she did not fall under his manus until the usual period of usucapio or prescription had passed.
12. Marriage in ancient Rome
had starting with the which may reflect the archaic custom of and his band of male immigrants were rejected conubium, the legal right to intermarriage, from the According to, and his men abducted the Sabine maidens, but promised them an honorable marriage, in which they would enjoy the benefits of property, citizenship, and children. These three benefits seem to define the purpose of marriage in ancient Rome.
The word matrimonium, the root for the English word defines the institution's main function. Involving the mater , it carries with it the implication of the man taking to woman in marriage to have children. It is the idea conventionally shared by Romans as to the purpose of marriage, which would be to produce; citizens producing new citizens.
a word used for the sharing of property, usually used in a technical sense for the property held by heirs, but could also be used in the context of marriage. Such usage was commonly seen in writings. However, the sharing of water and fire (aquae et ignis communiciatio) was symbolically more important. It refers to the sharing of natural resources. Worldly possessions transferred automatically from the wife to the husband in archaic times, whereas the classical marriage kept the wife's property separate.
In order for the union of a man and woman to be legitimate, there needed to be consent legally and morally. Both parties had to be willing and intend to marry, and both needed their fathers' consent. If all other legal conditions were met, a marriage was made.
13. Conventions of Roman marriage
The lives of elite Roman women were essentially determined by their marriages. We are best informed about families with both wealth and political standing, whose largely inherited money would follow both their sons and their daughters. In the earliest periods of Roman history, meant that a married woman would be subjugated by her husband, but that custom had died out by the 1st century BCE, in favor of Free Marriage which did not grant a husband any rights over his wife or have any changing effect on a woman's status.
Elite young men would usually marry in their mid-twenties, after a year or more of service and some initial experience attending cases and even pleading in the criminal or civil courts. Their brides, however, would be markedly younger women, between fifteen and twenty years of age. This was in part because the family felt no need to retain the daughter at home in order to give her a full education, and partly from fear that once into the flush of adolescence the girl might throw away her virginity or lose the reputation for chastity, which was a prerequisite for marriage. The higher the social position of the girl, the sooner betrothal tended to follow puberty, since marriage were arranged for political reasons. The actual marriage, however, was usually postponed until she was physically mature enough to carry a healthy pregnancy or survive the high risks of childbirth. The young wife would learn some of the complexities of running a large household by observing her mother, and her training would be supplemented by the of her new household.
The more prominent her family, the less it was likely that the girl would have much choice in the age, appearance or character of her first husband. Through high status marriages (even imperial ones), women were able to gain associative power from their husbands' prominent positions in society. Women who gained power in this way could even then legitimize the power positions of their sons (such as with) and as their symbolic status influenced Roman society.
While upper class girls married very young, there is evidence that lower class women –, freedwomen etc. – often married in their late teens or early twenties. Women were not seen as likely to marry after thirty. Marriage for them was not about economic or political gain, so it was not as urgent.
In a sense, the lives of all women in were defined around their expectation and achievement of marriage: first as young girls, then as wives and, if all went well, as mothers. In their later years, it was statistically probable that they would survive their husbands and live as From day to day, on a larger scale, their obligations and opportunities depended on the man or men to whom they were married.
14. Patria Potestas
Fathers of legitimate children alone had over their children. Patria potestas was the lifelong subjugation of a child to his or her father's will and, to the horror of the Greeks and other outside observers of the time, applied to sons as much as daughters.
A man or woman whose legitimate father was still alive required his consent for marriage. No paternal consent was required for illegitimate children or those whose fathers had died. This gave the father of legitimate children a very substantial say in at least the first marriage of his children. He had no right to prevent a divorce by one of his children. Though a father could deny the right to marriage by refusing a prospective son- or daughter-in-law, he could not legally force his children into marriage.
15. Engagement and ceremony
The nuptiae was often begun with a celebration, combining legal, religious, and social features. It brings the two households together, new property is introduced, and there is the underlying promise of children. The wedding ceremony no doubt included various customs and religious rites, but it cannot be assumed such rituals were static or widespread throughout the centuries.
The typical upperclass wedding in the classical period tended to be a lavish affair. The expense of the wedding was normally the bride's family's responsibility. The day was carefully chosen, with all sorts of religious reasons as to why certain days should be avoided.During engagement ceremonies, which typically took place before the wedding ceremonies, the groom would often hand his future wife an iron ring. During wedding ceremonies the bride and groom often sacrificed an animal and asked the gods for a blessing. Gifts were given to family and friends, and sometimes the and exchanged presents of money before the wedding. On the wedding day, the bride went with a procession to her new home, while the bridegroom went ahead of the bride to receive her. With her, the bride brought a torch lit from her family's hearth, and was offered another torch and water, symbolizing the aquae et ignis communicatio. She was then carried over the threshold by her attendants, not her husband. The words "Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia" may have been exchanged at this point. The actual consummation of the marriage took place in the bedroom, supposedly in the dark. The day after the wedding, the groom would hold a dinner party at his house, and it was at this time that the bride made an offering to the gods of her new home. All of this was part of publicizing the marriage.
The verbal consent between the bride and groom fulfilled the legal expectations, the sharing of the water and fire and, perhaps, the clasping of their right hands (dextrarum iunctio), the religious, and the actual ceremony and celebration fulfilled the social.
conventions of Roman marriage
The lives of elite Roman women were essentially determined by their marriages. We are best informed about families with both wealth and political standing, whose largely inherited money would follow both their sons and their daughters. In the earliest periods of Roman history, meant that a married woman would be subjugated by her husband, but that custom had died out by the 1st century BCE, in favor of Free Marriage which did not grant a husband any rights over his wife or have any changing effect on a woman's status.
Elite young men would usually marry in their mid-twenties, after a year or more of service and some initial experience attending cases and even pleading in the criminal or civil courts. Their brides, however, would be markedly younger women, between fifteen and twenty years of age. This was in part because the family felt no need to retain the daughter at home in order to give her a full education, and partly from fear that once into the flush of adolescence the girl might throw away her virginity or lose the reputation for chastity, which was a prerequisite for marriage. The higher the social position of the girl, the sooner betrothal tended to follow puberty, since marriage were arranged for political reasons. The actual marriage, however, was usually postponed until she was physically mature enough to carry a healthy pregnancy or survive the high risks of childbirth. The young wife would learn some of the complexities of running a large household by observing her mother, and her training would be supplemented by the of her new household.
The more prominent her family, the less it was likely that the girl would have much choice in the age, appearance or character of her first husband Through high status marriages (even imperial ones), women were able to gain associative power from their husbands' prominent positions in society. Women who gained power in this way could even then legitimize the power positions of their sons (such as with and as their symbolic status influenced Roman society.
While upper class girls married very young, there is evidence that lower class women, freedwomen etc. – often married in their late teens or early twenties. Women were not seen as likely to marry after thirty. Marriage for them was not about economic or political gain, so it was not as urgent.
In a sense, the lives of all women in were defined around their expectation and achievement of marriage: first as young girls, then as wives and, if all went well, as mothers. In their later years, it was statistically probable that they would survive their husbands and live as. From day to day, on a larger scale, their obligations and opportunities depended on the man or men to whom they were married.
Patria Potestas
Fathers of legitimate children alone had over their children. Patria potestas was the lifelong subjugation of a child to his or her father's will and, to the horror of the Greeks and other outside observers of the time, applied to sons as much as daughters.
A man or woman whose legitimate father was still alive required his consent for marriage. No paternal consent was required for illegitimate children or those whose fathers had died. This gave the father of legitimate children a very substantial say in at least the first marriage of his children. He had no right to prevent a divorce by one of his children. Though a father could deny the right to marriage by refusing a prospective son- or daughter-in-law, he could not legally force his children into marriage.
Engagement and ceremony
The nuptiae was often begun with a celebration, combining legal, religious, and social features. It brings the two households together, new property is introduced, and there is the underlying promise of children. The wedding ceremony no doubt included various customs and religious rites, but it cannot be assumed such rituals were static or widespread throughout the centuries.
The typical upperclass wedding in the classical period tended to be a lavish affair. The expense of the wedding was normally the bride's family's responsibility. The day was carefully chosen, with all sorts of religious reasons as to why certain days should be avoided.During engagement ceremonies, which typically took place before the wedding ceremonies, the groom would often hand his future wife an iron ring. During wedding ceremonies the bride and groom often sacrificed an animal and asked the gods for a blessing Gifts were given to family and friends, and sometimes the and exchanged presents of money before the wedding. On the wedding day, the bride went with a procession to her new home, while the bridegroom went ahead of the bride to receive her. With her, the bride brought a torch lit from her family's hearth, and was offered another torch and water, symbolizing the aquae et ignis communicatio. She was then carried over the threshold by her attendants, not her husband. The words "Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia" may have been exchanged at this point. The actual consummation of the marriage took place in the bedroom, supposedly in the dark. The day after the wedding, the groom would hold a dinner party at his house, and it was at this time that the bride made an offering to the gods of her new home. All of this was part of publicizing the marriage.
The verbal consent between the bride and groom fulfilled the legal expectations, the sharing of the water and fire and, perhaps, the clasping of their right hands (dextrarum iunctio), the religious, and the actual ceremony and celebration fulfilled the social.
Dowry
One of the most important aspects of the practical and business-like arrangement of Roman marriage was the. The dowry was a contribution made by the wife’s family to the husband to cover the expenses of the household. It was more customary than compulsory. Ancient texts show that dowries typically included land and slaves but could also include (used to make women more attractive, such as, and clothing. These items were connected with legacy and if the wife died early in the marriage, the dowry could be returned to her family and buried with her to give a more elaborate burial than was typical for the time, however that was not always the case.
The dowry was also how Roman families maintained their social status relative to each other. It was important to ensure that upon the end of a marriage, the dowry was returned to either the wife or her family. This was done in order to improve her chances of remarriage as well as to maintain the family resources. In ancient Rome, the dowry became the husband’s full legal property. In actuality, however, the purpose of the dowry often affected the husband’s freedom to use the dowry. For example, if the dowry was given to help in the maintenance of the wife, or if a legal provision was made for the wife or her family to reclaim the dowry should the marriage dissolve, the husband was restricted as to how he could make use of the dowry.
The fate of the dowry at the end of a marriage depended on its original source. A dowry of dos recepticia was one in which agreements were made in advance about its disposal. The agreement made beforehand determined how this dowry would be recovered. One of dos profecticia was a dowry given by the father of the bride. This type of dowry could be recovered by the donor or by a divorced daughter if her died. A dowry of dos adventicia was given by the daughter herself, though it came from her pater. This dowry usually came in non-traditional forms, for example, in lieu of a debt settlement, instead of being given as a direct charge on the pater’s estate. The wife usually recovered this dowry. However, if she died, the husband retained this dowry.
Old age and marriage
The evidence for rules of age in Augustus’ marriage legislation will be applied to the information we have in regard to the age of in women in and similarly the age up to which males were considered capable of fathering children. Under the terms of the lex Iulia, unmarried persons, caelibes (unmarried as defined by laws), were incapable of taking either inheritances or legacies. Married persons who had no children, orbi, could take no more than one-half of either inheritances or legacies. Originally, this basic principle seems to have applied only to those of a certain age, namely to men between the ages of 25 and 59 years, and to women of 20 to 49 years of age. Apart from questions of age, others were also exempted from the limitations imposed on the capacity to inherit, namely relatives, cognati, to the sixth (and in certain cases to the seventh) degree, as well as those in the manus or of such relatives. Under the Augustan legislation a husband and wife could enjoy complete capacity to inherit if, apart from the rules of age, they were otherwise related to within the sixth degree, or the husband was absent for a certain period of time (a temporary privilege), or the couple had a living communis child or a certain number of children who had survived to certain ages, or they had otherwise been granted the ius liberorum. If the married couple could not claim under any of these conditions, then they were normally capable of taking only one-tenth of the estate of the other.
Ancient Roman Family and Marriage
Early Years
600 BC to about 1 AD - Before the Imperial Age, in very earlyn Roman times, families were organized rather like mini Greek city-states. Everybody in one family lived in one home, including the great grandparents, grandparents, parents and children. The head of the family was the oldest male. That could be the father, the grandfather, or perhaps even an uncle.
Each family had slightly different customs and rules, because the head of the family had the power to decide what those rules were for his family. He owned the property, and had total authority, the power of life and death, over every member of his household. Even when his children became adults, he was still the boss.
But, he was also responsible for the actions of any member of his household. He could order a kid or a grown-up out of his house, but if they committed a crime, he might be punished for something his family did.
In poor families, the head of the house might decide to put a sick baby out to die or to sell grown-ups in his family into slavery, because there wasn't enough food to feed everyone.
A women had no authority. Her job was to take care of the house and to have children.
The Imperial Age: Late 1st century AD to about 500 AD
Things changed very rapidly towards the end of 1st century AD. Although families still lived in one home, during the Imperial Age, women could own land, run businesses, free slaves, make wills, be heirs themselves, and get a job in some professions.
The ancient Romans tried to help their family grow through marriage, divorce, adoption, and re-marriage.
After a divorce, ex-in-laws were still important, as were their children. Adopted children had the same rights as any of the other children, rights based on their sex and age. In addition to wives and children, wealthy ancient Roman homes supported slaves.
Old Age
The ancient Romans greatly respected and cared for their elderly. When the older members of a family became too tired for other activities, they could always play with their grandchildren and great grandchildren, all of whom had all been born under their roof, and would one day be honoring them at the Parentalia, the festival of the dead.
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